A bad word

Instead of playing the radio on the drive home from work and school one recent evening, Olivia and I started singing silly songs with made-up words. In our duet performances we usually take turns riffing on what the other has just sung about. Olivia likes to sing a song she heard on a cartoon show. The words go something like, "Stomp, Stomp, Stomp... Doin' that Yeti Stomp".

So, in my response I added some flair with "Shtomp, Shtomp, Shtomp... Doin' that Shtuppy Shtomp".

Before I knew what was going on I was getting a lecture from Olivia on the bad word I just said.

"What bad word did I say?"

"The S-word."

In my head I replayed my recent lyric a few times. Did she hear me say the S-word? I thought about my choice of using the Sh-sounds. Oh man... my 5-year-old, innocent, first-born treasure knows the S-word!

In my best fatherly tone I asked her what was the S-word that she heard.

"I'm going to say it, but don't get mad at me."

"OK. I won't get mad." At this point my heart was already breaking a little because I was positive that one of her school friends had already given her a lesson on bad words and I was about to hear her drop the S-bomb on me.

After a short dramatic pause she utters her S-word, "Stupid".

My heart warmed a little. I rethought what I could have possibly said and realized 'Shtuppy' can sound like stupid.

I told her I didn't mean to say the S-word and we started a new song.

Recommend to your children virtue; that alone can make them happy, not gold.

Ludwig van Beethoven